So, it has been a while since checking in. Lots has happened, but right now I would like
to address the issues currently floating through my head and that is “bikini
season”.
It has been about 9 months since I last weighed myself
and for the most part I have let go of a lot of my body image issues. The winter helped because sweaters are great
hiders of folds that never used to exist.
I have been super proud of myself.
It has also been well over a year since I’ve thought about slipping back
into my old ways of eating disorders to lose weight (even though I am the
heaviest I have ever been – which I know is still not that heavy, but eating
disorders are about self-perception not reality).
But now, it is bikini season. It is bikini season and I am working with a
lot of very fit people out in the country where I live on a beach. It’s the first year that I’ve been so acutely
aware of some of the extra flab I’ve put on.
(As a side note, my journey through hell this winter did not aid my weight
maintenance. I let the weight come as it
may.) I’ve finally reached a point in my
process where I’m able to stay largely grounded and begin to feel inclined to
move my body (I’m loathe to say “exercise”) and eat healthy. My body is no longer my enemy, but summer is.
