So, it has been a while since checking in. Lots has happened, but right now I would like to address the issues currently floating through my head and that is “bikini season”.
It has been about 9 months since I last weighed myself and for the most part I have let go of a lot of my body image issues. The winter helped because sweaters are great hiders of folds that never used to exist. I have been super proud of myself. It has also been well over a year since I’ve thought about slipping back into my old ways of eating disorders to lose weight (even though I am the heaviest I have ever been – which I know is still not that heavy, but eating disorders are about self-perception not reality).
But now, it is bikini season. It is bikini season and I am working with a lot of very fit people out in the country where I live on a beach. It’s the first year that I’ve been so acutely aware of some of the extra flab I’ve put on. (As a side note, my journey through hell this winter did not aid my weight maintenance. I let the weight come as it may.) I’ve finally reached a point in my process where I’m able to stay largely grounded and begin to feel inclined to move my body (I’m loathe to say “exercise”) and eat healthy. My body is no longer my enemy, but summer is.