When this experiment was first proposed to me by my therapist, I laughed in her face. "A year without sex?! Are you crazy?!" was my response. After a week of thinking about what would be accomplished by doing something like this, I started to warm to the idea. Here is my hypothesis about what I hope this experiment will accomplish (and what I actually think will happen).
- More focused use of time and energy
- All energy previously dedicated to chasing boys and analyzing relationships will be directed towards personal development and achieving the artistic goals I have set for the coming year.
- Develop a greater sense of self
- Since the option to rely on sex or a relationship for positive reinforcement will no longer be an option, it will be necessary to become more introspective and reliant on myself for the affirmation I need.
- Reconciliation between sex and emotion
- Putting the value back into sex instead of having meaningless one-night stands or having sex only to fulfill the primal need. Making sex have meaning.
- Discover what I really need in a relationship
- So often I find myself changing who I am to fit the life of my partner, but that never turns out well. I am hoping that through this experiment I will develop the confidence to stand up for the things I need from a relationship and not settle for the first guy who pays attention to me.
- Become more selective in my relationship choices
- This means not jumping into bed on the first date or sleeping around for the heck of it (at least not all the time). Making sure the person is actually worth my time before I become intimate with them. Develop the emotional connection before introducing the physical.
- Increase in productivity
- Feelings of relief about not spending so much energy chasing boys
- Feeling liberated and free (and super edgy and cool!)
- The itch begins - I miss sex
- Increase in physical activity
- Starting to get into a great work routine
- Sex is slowly taking over every thought in my head
- Ending seems so far away
- Reconsidering this endeavour
- CRACK WARNING: If I'm going to fail, it will likely be during this month
- Starting to compensate lack of sex with food
- Decision: This is the stupidest idea ever!
- Begin living vicariously through others and asking for way too many details
- Writing begins to take an erotic turn
- Starting to get a little bitchy all the time
- Routine is my only saving grace - fluctuations to routine send me into a tailspin
- Very edgy and snappy
- Start meditating and taking yoga
- Spending lots of time out doing things... must keep doing the things
- Doubt begins to run rampant - is this really worth it?
- Yoga didn't work, I try kickboxing instead
- Decide to do juice cleanse, berry fast or any other thing that promises a zen-like state
- Writing begins to get very dark
- Nervous tick has developed
- HALF WAY!!!!
- Fear sets in that I may never have sex again
- Cleansing didn't work - Trying hard liquor instead.
- Real emotional struggles with sex and intimacy become prime conversation in therapy
- Productivity starts to decline
- Begin removing all unnecessary stress in my life
- Beginning to be attracted to every man that passes me
- Nothing but sex can enter my conscious thought
- Nervous tick has developed into full cold sweats
- Major self-reflection occurs - What is really important in my life?
- The end is in sight... kind of.
- Planning begins for when this is all over
- Productivity begins to increase again
- Second wind!
- Very focused on work to get me through the last months
- More definition about what I want from a relationship
- Sex seems like a distant fantasy I once had
- Is that telephone pole looking particularly sexy today?
- Almost there!
- Very clear perspective on who I am and what I want to achieve
- Knowledge of what I expect from a partner
- Increased ability to discuss my emotional needs and sexual preferences
- Renewed self-worth
- 30 day countdown! The end can't come soon enough! (And neither can I...)
- Loss of interest in having random encounters (after a year, they better be worth it!)
- Desire to have meaningful sexual relationships
- Satisfaction of making it
- Knowledge that despite all this, I'm going to sleep with the first penis to glance my way at 11:59pm
- Sense of achievement and clarity
- Increased confidence and ability to communicate my needs and wants.