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Monday 13 January 2014


WOOT!!!  We have finally cracked the 200 mark and there is now a 1 in front of the number of days left (a 1 followed by two other numbers, but hey! small victories!)

I'm crazy busy at work, so I haven't been updating as much.  I'm working on a huge contract that is literally eating my every waking moment.  Finally able to grab a couple seconds to check out how this site is doing.

Wanted to say thank you to all my readers & followers!!  You're really keeping me on track in this process.  It's nice to feel you have people to whom you need to be accountable.

Luckily, being so busy at work means that I don't have a moment to even think about sex (despite how much it would be a fantastic stress-reliever).  Month 5 is shaping up to be not the slog I thought it would be and I'm really excited to report the half-way mark when I hit it in a couple weeks.

I'm also making stronger decisions when it comes to boys.  I'm making a conscious effort to put myself first and make decisions that are best for me (like, no longer following Art on Facebook, getting rid of remaining traces of The Ex and not jumping at Kryptonite's beck and call.)  It makes me feel good (and keeps Girl Brain at bay!).

Therapy is on a hiatus right now.  I'm back in two weeks to tackle many of the issues with my mother.

Last week was the 10th anniversary of the death of my father - an extremely emotional day.  After finally confronting my feelings, this was the first time that I actually felt his absence on that day.  I can feel his presence around me constantly these days.  It's very comforting, but makes me miss his physical being.  I am continuing to mourn the time that we never had together and learning how to properly grieve.  It's really refreshing (as weird as that sounds).  It's great to not carry the weight of those emotions anymore - they are free to flow out of me as they come.  I feel lighter and more alive.

Anyhoo, that's the quick check-in break that I have for now.  I'll be back in full force (hopefully next week, if not the week after!). 

Monday 6 January 2014


So, it has been 5 MONTHS!  (Well, over 5 months now, but who’s really counting…)  I did the calculations and this is officially the longest I have ever gone without sex since I started having it.  It’s a whole new world… I don’t like it!  I have moved past the point of wanting it for the validation and into the world of wanting to have it for the physical stimulation.  Progress! (Maybe?)

So the holiday season has happened and I’ve been relatively quiet since then.  Here is the quick catch-up:
- told my therapist about Art and here is the non-verbatim version of how that went:
                Me: …but I didn’t sleep with him.
                Therapist: Why not?
                Me (confused): Because I’m doing this whole year off thing!
                Therapist: Wow!  Good for you!  I totally would have slept with him.
                Me: ***head explodes***
It took all I had not to call him up at that instant and say “I’ve made a huge mistake”, but the truth of the matter is that I didn’t make a huge mistake.  Yes, I had been attracted to him for years.  Yes, I would have totally slept with him if it had been a year earlier. But, this year, I’m doing things that are best for me.  I’ve made a commitment to this experiment and it is not worth sacrificing months of work (because it has been work!) on an infatuation without substance (come July 29, he is totally at the top of my list to celebrate the end of the year). 

On that note, I have instituted a new loophole in the experiment (oh, how easily I start to crack).  Loophole: if after 3 months of “hanging out” (I can’t say “dating” because I’m also not supposed to be doing that… I’m so weak!), I can sleep with the person, as long as there are no clothes removed during that 3 months.  I figure at this point it puts me at 8 months into this experiment if I were to start “hanging out” with someone now – which I think is still quite the accomplishment (and unlikely to occur).