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Tuesday 13 August 2013


You know those times when you are travelling for work and you have to have someone come watch your house and your cat?  Well, this happened in my life recently.  I was packing and, since I'm not having sex for a year, made sure to bring a variety of vibrators with me (I tried to think of joke about vibrators being more "hand"y, but failed.  Sorry!).  So, while I was unpacking my bag at my new accommodation, I realized that my little pocket vibrator was not in my bag.  I remember taking it out of the cupboard, which led me to believe that I left it on the kitchen counter at home.  What a surprise that would be for my lovely house-sitter!

But, good fortune found me and it turned out that I had simply packed it with my feminine care products (rationale being that they all take care of the same place).  A big sigh of relief this morning!  I would have felt so bad for my friend. There is nothing more awkward than watching someone's house for a month only to find their vibrator decorating the kitchen counter.  Appetizing!

Friday 9 August 2013


Well, I’ve survived the first week!  Woo-hoo!  But, really... let’s save the celebration.  Even when I’ve been in relationships, I’ve gone more than a week, so it’s not really that big an accomplishment, except when you consider my natural reaction to have a random sexual encounter to make myself feel better after ending a relationship (or fling, we’re calling it a fling... hrumph!).

Luckily, I have been swamped with work this past week with hardly a moment to even think about writing, let alone sex.  Though, opportunity has presented itself.  I’m in town for no less than 48 hours before I happen across some very attractive eligible men who happen to be building a cottage in the area - *swoon*.  I happen to have a weakness for men who can build things – hence Kryptonite.  So, I get chatting with these locals and we hit it off.  Anyhoo, the night ends with a bunch of us drinking in the park until all hours of the morning.  Eek!  I did make it home safely and did not even crack by giving any of these attractive men a smooch.  The gentleman who I was most attracted to (henceforth referred to as “The Local”) has a girlfriend (ooo!  emotionally unavailable – of course! It’s like I have special radar).  Despite this fact, he has not seen his girlfriend in about 6 months and seemed rather excited about the prospect of another lady in town.  Thankfully for me, this is as much information as I need to keep The Local at arm’s length. 

What I have learned this week is that I’m worth way more than someone’s side candy.  That just isn’t going to fly with me anymore.  It’s amazing what can happen when you start acting with your head instead of your vagina (yes, boys, a girl’s brain can be controlled by her carnal urges as well).  It’s just not worth it.  I’ve been there.  At the end of the day, you end up walking home feeling gross and slightly worse about yourself.  Then you want to do it all over again to feel better, but it never works and you never learn. 

Wednesday 7 August 2013


Panic and terror would best describe the nervous anticipation I was feeling before the start of this experiment.  (I’ve been writing this post in my mind for nearly a week now, but have yet to have the time to sit at the computer to write it, so it is now in the past tense as the experiment has started – sorry, I was caught off guard with how quickly time was moving). 

Originally, this experiment was supposed to start on my birthday in June, but due to variety of circumstances... well, one particular circumstance, I chose to postpone until July 29, 2013.  That circumstance was the fact that I had begun a “friends with benefits” type relationship with a friend that had recently become single after many years.  It was great, though he (obviously) was completely emotionally unavailable (Hey!  That sounds like every guy I ever date!).  Used to being in a relationship, much of his behaviour was very boyfriend-y (and he is very good at being a boyfriend), which, from the “girlfriend-stand-in” perspective, can be very misleading and throughout the... oh, let’s call it a fling... throughout the fling, I needed a number of check-ins to keep my head on straight about where we were going. 

Early into the fling, I had told... let’s call him Kryptonite (because I seem to lose all my power of self-control around him)... about this experiment and he was very supportive but suggested that I perhaps change my start date until after the week-long vacation we had planned.  Well, that happened to be only a couple weeks before I left town for a month for work, so I decided being out of stalking range might be the best time to make a clean break, hence the July 29 start date.