UPDATES

UPDATES
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Sunday 22 November 2015

THIS WEEK IN THERAPY - FINAL EXAM

So, I’m going to be graduating my group therapy in a couple weeks, which basically means that I have reached a point where I have worked through enough of my process that I can function in the world without the containment of the therapy group (aka I’m healed… mostly…).  This weekend was my final therapy intensive and, boy, was it intense!!  It feels like in order to graduate, the universe needs to administer a final exam to see if I pass. 

Over the nearly two years I have been in group therapy (and nearly four years in individual therapy), I have tackled some pretty heavy topics: abuse, neglect, bullying, conditional parental love, death of the absent father, and sexuality, just to name a few.  One major issue that has plagued me is seeking affection from the unavailable man.  That stuck around the longest.  Seeking love where it was unavailable has pretty much been my M.O. for my entire life.  I’m still working it out, but in the past year (minus a few months), I’ve been pretty good at putting myself first (or at least stopping myself early in the chase stages).  I have never felt more powerful or in control of my own life.  Every day is brimming with excitement and opportunity.  I have said “fuck it” to “chasing” after a mate.  My theme song of the weekend was “Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler.  Either a man meets me or I’m not interested.  I’ve had this conversation with many people and the common opinion is that I’m searching for a unicorn, and guess what, I am. 

Then comes my final exam…